This blog is meant for all those beautiful souls, who struggle with the wound of being outcast. This is one of the main topics of my self-healing journey in the past 15 years since my awakening, so I have my fair share of understanding and experiencing it.
When I started to work on this topic at the very beginning, all I could see is being a victim. I am pushed out, rejected, abandoned, and left out of the tribe, community, society, I am not loved, I am not good enough, I do not deserve to be loved as I am just too different. That was my perception of it at that level of my consciousness.
When Heart Light Healing came into my life 9 years ago, especially after becoming the teacher of it a year later, my understanding of the soul’s journey and development transformed hugely and that - in a very loving way - forced me to step out of the victim role and made me see things from a different point of view.
We have to understand that every single event we experience on Earth we have chosen for ourselves. Our soul decided to be reminded of our wounds in order to understand, transform and heal the emotional attachments that we are trapped in. When we feel someone hurt us, we really have to be grateful to them to hold a mirror to us and allow us to see our wounds that need attention. We have to take responsibility for our own lives, for our choices. No one can do anything to us, that we have not agreed to before incarnating. All events are soul agreements from which both parties can potentially learn and evolve. Many people would say to me now and have done so in the past 9 years since I am a healer, that “there is no way I would choose such a horrible experience”. Yet that is the case. We have to realise, that reality on Earth is just a miniscule part of the journey of the multidimensional, infinite soul and its development. When we step out of the blame games and start to own our experiences, that gives us the power back to change things. When you think you are a victim, you feel helpless, but when you own your life, you have all the power to change it.
So, with that knowledge, I started to look at the whole topic slightly differently. I have managed to see into my parallel lives, where I have experienced being an outcast, be that the Tuatha Dé Danann, Celtic tribes, Scottish clans, healing groups and more, I have clearly seen a returning pattern. It is obviously coming up so deeply now, because my soul really wants to heal it in this lifetime. What I could see, is that in those groups, I was always full of love and light, I was the messenger of the divine truth. Do not get me wrong, I am no saint, although I did not have many incarnations on Earth, I have done wrong before, like we all did. If you are a victim, it is quite likely that you have been a perpetrator, that is just the way the universe is, there is always balance, good old drama-karma show. This is all part of our soul journey and development, no reason for self-blame. But going back to my story, right now I am talking about lifetimes of being outcast. Now, what happens when you step into the vibration of a person full of love and light? Your weaknesses, fears, shadow side gets amplified, as if a spotlight was directed on them. That is not something that people like. If you are a heart conscious person, that is a blessing in disguise, as you can transform the parts in you that you see needs to be brought into love. However, if you are not yet at that level of consciousness, and have no intention to change, it can really trigger you and it can be a challenging experience.
So, the first step to me was the acceptance of the fact, that being a strong mirror of that kind is a gift and not a ‘curse’. To help someone to awaken to their true potential through change, to transform their fears into love through challenges is a blessing. The most important learning though is that no one can outcast us. We do it to ourselves! Yes, again you could say, “there is no way I would do that to myself”. But yes, we do, and obviously not consciously. What happens in the background on a soul and metaphysical level is that you are the one not accepting your very own self, your values, your beauty, your light. If you did, people would appreciate you as they would mirror back that self-appreciation and self-acceptance. When you understand the rule of the mirror, all that you face in other human beings is the reflection of your soul, so if you are not accepted, you are either wounded in acceptance or you do not accept yourself. Essentially it all goes back to self-love, self-appreciation. Basically, anyone who feels outcast in any way, in any group, have to learn to love themselves and appreciate their beautiful weirdness, differentness. Embrace it and love it and it changes the whole game.
Since we are all a united energy of physical body, soul and spirit, I tend to work on all levels. Usually first I notice the signs in the physical, then I start healing on soul level, looking at the subconscious wounds, past/parallel lives, then move on to the spirit level, which for a very long time I did not quite understand, how can you work on that level. This was especially annoying, since my astrologist kept telling me for years, that my deepest wounds are on spirit level. My understanding of the spirit level and tapping into healing on that level really started to emerge in the past 2 years, when I realized it lies is in the divine, great spirit connections. Once you worked on the soul and spirit level, the healing manifests in the physical, you no longer have those experiences of being an outcast.
In this case, I asked my higher self to show me, what is the true source of feeling outcast on spirit level. And the answer was truly unexpected and actually very much overlapping with my father wounds. It took me back to the time of separation of the soul, when the soul separates from the great oneness and starts to ascend to lover dimensions to experience itself on its own. I felt like my divine “father” outcast me and sent me on a mission to prove that I am worthy of his love. I would say this is a collective wound of humanity, the feeling of separation and by the way totally unreasonable, as God or Great spirit loves us beyond our imagination, as essentially, we are one with that divine energy. And that is the beauty of the transformation happening on Earth now, the shift in consciousness. Every single being on Earth has the opportunity to choose love, to choose feeling divinity in their own existence, to feel being loved, as there is no real separation, WE ARE still one with love and source, the divine energy. We are all divine creatures. When we truly believe and understand that, we can live a very different quality of life and we are heading to that direction right now. The Golden age is ahead of us, actually we are well into the hallway of this beautiful new, love-based existence.
Sending you all lots of love and light
Mandorla and Heart Light healer and teacher
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