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Why do we please others?

I do wonder why is it, that our guides have to wake us up in the middle of the night to send messages?! Actually, I know the answer, the energies are more quiet and they can come closer and messages come through clearer, however, that usually means that they wake me up between 1-4am and just keep saying what they have to say. I am grateful for that, it is just my physical body, that is not so happy for skipping sleeping. :)

So, for the second night in a row I woke up to such guidance and teaching, and it was about pleasing. I know that department pretty well, as looking back in time, for a very long time I was the kind of person who tried to please others for the sake of getting a little bit of attention, appreciation and love. There are two types of children, one gets attention by being troublesome, the other type gets attention by being super well behaved, best at school, helping Mum and Dad all the time. I am sure You have guessed which type I was. ;) I am also aware that until my awakening 15 years ago, I carried on being like that as an adult, too.

What the guidance in the night made me realize, how we can actually scale our development in self-love by our "pleasing habits”. As I was lying in my bed all the occurrences were running through my head in the past year. What is it that I did to please someone for the sake to be loved and what have I done genuinely because I loved someone so much, that doing something that makes them happy simply felt good and there was no expectation of any kind attached to it. I was actually very happy to find out that most of my "pleasing actions" these days come from genuine love. So, take a break and start doing the same, check what acts of kindness did you do lately and which were the ones you did to receive love or any kind of energetic return and which were the ones that genuinely came from loving someone and being in a state of love. It is also worth considering who are the people in our lives whom we please for something in return and who are the ones with whom we are obviously in balance when it comes to love and giving.

So, just an example, if you clean the house spotless all the time to make your partner love you or appreciate you more, than that counts more like the please for return category. If you do that because it simply makes you feel good to live in a spotlessly tidy home and provide that for your family, then you are acting out of love and balance. Or, if you keep stroking, hugging your partner or child in order to be stroked and hugged back (as they do not seem to do it enough for your liking), then that is done for expecting something, however if you do it, because it simply makes you feel good, than it is an act of love. Especially if you know that touching is their love language.

Actually, this is where communication comes in the picture, love languages are so important to express towards our environment. They should know what it is that is good for us. So, if I know my child’s love language is stroking, but mine is time spent together, I should make an effort to stroke that child a lot, purely because I know that is how he/she feels loved, that is not pleasing in an expecting way, it is merely loving your child, so giving them what they need.

I understood that there is nothing wrong with giving, being kind, but if it is done expecting something in return, then it is not in balance in our life. That means you are probably not in the state of love. Bear in mind, that receiving, asking should be in balance, too. Although I believe once we can give without expectation, we are much better at accepting and asking as well.

Whoever we try to please out of expectation, is where wounds are likely to be. If I please Mum all the time, it is my relationship with mother wounds I should heal, if it is my partner, then it is likely to be a relationship wound, or if it is my child, my parental status is wounded, etc. Self-discovery is a beautiful journey. This time of the year is all about going inward, discovering our shadow, which is all our fears our weaknesses that are there to be transformed.

Be brave and go inward, do a little self check in the pleasing topic! Just close your eyes, put some meditative music, solfeggio, theta music on and just start bringing back the patterns in your life and see what it shows you!

If you feel you need support with your healing, understanding, I am offering private consultations and energetic healings personally in Cork (Rose Creedon Skin and Beauty) or Midleton (Danu Wellness), or online. I can also support your journey by meditative healing circles and spiritual workshops. See my Facebook, Instagram or my website

Lots of love

Nóra Hormay

Heart light healer and wayshower

You can check out some testimonials about my work, if you are interested in Heart light healing, here: LINK

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